Wednesday, July 28, 2010
It's a good one!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
So this last week the clinic paid for all of it's employees to go see Willy Wonka at the Scera shell outdoor theater in Orem. This brought back a million memories of going to plays in the park with my family, as well as random roadshows we did- one in which I really was an oompa loompa (that was only a few years ago). I have to say that it was worth it. I love being outside, and I love the arts. There is something about going to see a play that just brings imagination to life. As I sat there with my friend Katie and her two kid cousins, I just felt moments of joy. I can't explain what it was, but it has really been a long time since I felt like that. I honestly can't remember the last time I couldn't stop smiling because of happiness. It was like all cares, worries were lifted off of my shoulders. It may have been Willy singing "there's a world of pure imagination". The production wasn't anything fancy, and I can't say that there was anything particularly special about the performance, I think it was just a combination of just letting everything go and enjoying the moment.It was about remembering what it was like to be a kid.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Tonight I did something incredibly stupid. At least- I really wasted an opportunity to get to know someone. All I can say is I am a moron.
So here's the deal. I was headed to institute tonight since I haven't been in awhile, and knew that I could use it tonight. I had just finished crossing University Ave, when I could hear someone on a bicycle coming up behind me. So I moved to the side to get out of their way. He saw that I was holding scriptures and walking somewhere and asked if I was going to institute. My first impression and thought: Runaway! Because that's the first thing I think when I smell an excessive amount of aftershave that has a strong hint of Old Spice- I like the commercials, not the scent. Second thing that I thought was he probably isn't looking for the same place. He was adamant that we were going to the same place on campus. He had good features, and a Spanish accent. I asked him where he was from- Uruguay but claimed Spain as his home. (He became a little more attractive at that point) (Shallow. I know. I know.) I asked him which building he was looking for- he said he was looking for one close to a museum- I knew that the museums were on the complete opposite side of campus. We started talking- he slowed down on his bicycle and told me that he was getting his masters degree in Civil Engineering and planned on going back to Spain when he was done. (The old spice scent had magically disappeared when he said he was a grad student) (Even more shallow. Right.)All this time he kept insisting that he was headed in the right direction- ie. following me. At one point I asked him what his institute teacher looked like and he said that his teacher was a man- He was definably not going to the same place. My teacher is a girl.
Ok. We have a problem- well a couple. I usually cut through buildings to get there because it's faster. He was on a bike, and didn't seem like he was going to get off and walk. So now I know we are looking for different places and I am about to cut through a building that he can't take his bike through. So I tell him that I am going to the grey building- and he will have to go through the parking lot to get there while I cut through the building. I was unsure at this point if he wanted to come with me to my class or if he still wanted to find his own. So I gave him the directions and he took off. I should have just told him to park his bike and that we should just walk together.(I thought of that an hour later).
I cut through the building and he's come around the building much faster than I walked, and he's back on the sidewalk, headed towards me but not... I don't know. So at that moment in time I was thinking he was trying to get to his own class. He waves, and I wave back, but he doesn't follow me, so I figured he was going to his own class. I walked on and sat through institute- (which happened to be about marriage tonight)..As I thought about the encounter I had- I realized he was probably trying to wave me down so I would walk with him to my institute. MORON! Why don't I think about these things when I am situations like that..here I am talking with a guy who's nice, attractive, athletic, foreign, and I just let him wander around with no hope of knowing where to go. Wow. Can we say genius? The worst part? He was telling me about how nice it was to be here in Provo around so many nice people and especially how he loved to be around members of the church. Then I just dropped him and let him fend for himself. Real cool Risa.
So he either thought:
A. Wow. I take it back, people aren't nice here.
B. I still need directions!
C. That girl is a moron- I specifically stopped her to flirt, and she just kept walking.
The things I can glean from this:
A. Don't judge a man by his old spice.
B. I need to be a better communicator- at least so I can give better directions.
C. FLIRT BACK you Moron!
D. I've always wanted to visit Spain.
E. Some men really can pull off facial hair. Did I mention he had facial hair?
F. Bicycle man- I ever see you again, we'll go get ice cream.
G. If a man doesn't know where he's going, hop on the handle bars and show him the way.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Of all the things I’ve said,
Of all the dreams I’ve wished come true,Of all the tears I’ve shed,
There’s only one thing I wished you knew.
Of all the things I’ve written,
Of all the clichés, whims, and sayings so trite,
Of all the times I felt smitten,
There’s only one thing I hoped with all my might.
Of all the things I’ve done,
Of all the silly games I’ve played,
Of all the times I’d thought I’d won,
There’s only one thing for which I prayed.
Of all the times I’ve tried
Of all the times I’ve failed,
Of all the times I’ve cried,
There’s only one thing I wish I’d nailed.
Of all the times I wanted to give my heart,
Of all the times I tried to be true,
Of all the times I lacked the smarts
There’s only one thing of which I had a clue.
I only wanted to say I love you.
As in- articulate and without words expressed,
I tried to act so you’d be impressed.
I only managed to alienate and deter,
If only I could have acted in a way you would prefer.
Oh how clumsy and foolish I’ve been
Only to realize my actions and words were to your chagrin.
I’ve become “that crazy girl” in your life,
I really didn’t mean to cause you any strife.
I hope one day you’ll see
I just wanted you to get to know me.
Unfortunately I’ve portrayed myself most poorly.
If you only knew me, you’d understand surely.
You impressed me with who you are,
To find one better, I’d have to search among the stars.
You are one who is honorable and true,
I was a fool to try and pursue.
So here I am trying to apologize,
Yet there’s more to learn from this, I surmise.
One put on a pedestal inevitably falls,
Just like the boy who never calls.
I liked the idea of you,
But you never gave me the chance to see if the idea was true.
I liked the potential that was there,
Only to find out I hadn’t a prayer.
So know this, I am done.
Agony never was any fun.
Why do we put ourselves through torture?
Flames of love only become scorchers.
One thing I have learned,
Besides finding out how to get burned,
It’s something for which I’ve got a knack,
To learn to love someone who will never love you back.
So I wish for you all the happiness you could possess.
As I seek for other lives to bless.
Please just don’t forget ,
There is still one who has loved and loves you yet.
Of all the things I could have told youOf all the things I wished you knew,
Of all the things I’ve wished from above,The only thing I really wanted to give you was love.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Purify My Heart
Purify my heart- this is my prayer.
Make it holy that to heaven I may come there.
A broken heart is a simple yet sincere token.
Help me to do as Thou hast spoken.
Contrite in spirit,
This is the only way I can be healed of it.
Consume this ache and make me whole.
Help me, that to Thee may come my soul.
Charity must come
That Thy will may be done.
Sanctify me through Thy grace
That I may one day see Thy face.
Bring me closer to Thee
So in Thine arms I may be.
Purify my heart, heal my wounded soul.
Calm my cares around me, hear my plea o Lord.
I am determined to progress
and help others of Thee confess.
My life has changed,
Oh help me to those blessings obtain.
Thy understanding is eternal and complete.
Thy mercy is meet.
Thy love is unspoken yet fully felt.
Do not depart oh Lord, and tarry to be my help.
Thanks be to thee for all thy love.
Purify my heart that I may dwell with Thee above.