Another Reason I love Superman

I love Superman. I realize that to be a true Superman fan, I should probably do more comic book reading, of which I haven't done much, but I love the old school Christopher Reeve movies. Superman is hands down the best superhero a girl could ask for..well at least this girl could ask for. I think I may love him more as Clark Kent just because he's so adorable trying to act like he's a nobody but in reality, he's amazing. So I got home today, and it's not everyday you hear a little bit of happy news, but this news did bring a smile to my face, and I am so happy for the family that was saved by Superman.... click the link or paste into your browser:

http://realestate.msn.com/blogs/listedblogpost.aspx?post=1786978&_blg=1,1786978

It's a good one!

Wonderful World of Wonka

So this last week the clinic paid for all of it's employees to go see Willy Wonka at the Scera shell outdoor theater in Orem. This brought back a million memories of going to plays in the park with my family, as well as random roadshows we did- one in which I really was an oompa loompa (that was only a few years ago). I have to say that it was worth it. I love being outside, and I love the arts. There is something about going to see a play that just brings imagination to life. As I sat there with my friend Katie and her two kid cousins, I just felt moments of joy. I can't explain what it was, but it has really been a long time since I felt like that. I honestly can't remember the last time I couldn't stop smiling because of happiness. It was like all cares, worries were lifted off of my shoulders. It may have been Willy singing "there's a world of pure imagination". The production wasn't anything fancy, and I can't say that there was anything particularly special about the performance, I think it was just a combination of just letting everything go and enjoying the moment.It was about remembering what it was like to be a kid.

I think also that the kids we were sitting with and surrounded by had something to do with it as well. I wanted those kids to just have a blast. I wanted them to laugh, and smile, and be happy. It was like I had ridiculous amounts of caffeine infused into me because being around those kids just energized me. I guess it was the kids most of all that made the difference. I think there is hope that is visible for the future when you look into a child's eyes. It invigorates and empowers those around to be better. The youth of today will be tomorrow's future. It reminded me of when I was a camp counselor. Honestly that was my all time favorite job I have ever held. You had the chance to be around greatness and potential 24 hours a day. You had the chance to make a friend and inspire them to be more, and to laugh and joke around with them at the same time. I think the thing I like most when I am around kids is that it is one time when I don't have to think about myself. When kids are around, they become the focus of my intent, and honestly, I just want them to be happy. I want them to be able to think that they can do anything, be anything. There is something in their eyes that isn't tangible, or discernible or describable. Hope, love, trust, honesty and everything in between can be seen in their eyes, and I think that's why Christ has asked us to become as little children. They embody all of those characteristics and beg for encouragement that you can't help but give to them. I love kids and being there at that play has definitely given me some cause for thought about where my life is leading me. I have felt so selfish lately and so consumed with what I am doing with my life, that I have forgotten to look around myself and see what I can do for those around me.

I am grateful for Thursday night because it helped me to relearn things I already knew. It was an educational night for me, and helped me grow. Honestly feeling that joy was a moment of tender mercy for me because I have not felt that way in a long time. I want to be there for others, after all, are we not all children in Heavenly Fathers eyes? Most days I wonder what I am doing, when I should be thinking about who I can serve. Then it wouldn't matter what I was doing, because it would be for someone else. Honestly I know I can't wait to have a family of my own, because I know it will be the greatest source of joy I could ever imagine. Obviously pain will accompany it, but the moments of joy will be so much greater. I am grateful for my parents who diligently served my siblings and I every day of the year. They had no break and most days received no thanks. I love them. This reminder has made me want to look for more consistent opportunities to serve. I want to write things that will inspire those kids to become better, to become what their potential will allow them to become and their imaginations will lead them to fulfill those dreams that seemed unthinkable. Because of the those kids, I want to be better, and I want to really make dreams come true. There is a world of pure imagination, and all we have to do is simply look around a view it. Kids are awesome!!!

Sunrise

This one is a conglomeration of important events that have occured in my life. These include experiences from my mission, school, and others and all under the back drop of climbing Mt. Sinai to see the sunrise. Each time I try to climb what seems to be a huge mountain, I find help and hope that gets me to where I need to be. I need to work on this more, I've only shared this with 2 friends, I owe many thanks to them. I hope one day the words will reflect my feelings about how grateful I am for divine help.

Sunrise

Oft times I've set out on my own

And found a place where Thou hast shown.

Mysteries and miracles and treasures unknown.

At times the journey seemed tiresome and long.

Yet always, the darkness was chased by the dawn.

And so I carried on.

This path marked by solitude, rocks, silence and dust

Couldn't be trod without risks, so hope was a must.

I was and am forever in Thy trust.

My biggest fear was uncertainty.

Yet when I would fall Thy invisible hand would carry me.

To the peak where I could see deep golden rays of eternity.

Sleep had now fled from my eyes

No longer focused on things below, they reached the skies.

Realizing this was where every honest heart flies.

The brilliant horizon gleamed with infinite heights

To be reached by others in search of the light.

With this thought a tear escaped my eyes.

So now illuminated with the rays of Thy Son,

I knew thy will was to be done.

Now each new day the sunrise beckons, Come.

Man on Bicycle

Tonight I did something incredibly stupid. At least- I really wasted an opportunity to get to know someone. All I can say is I am a moron.

So here's the deal. I was headed to institute tonight since I haven't been in awhile, and knew that I could use it tonight. I had just finished crossing University Ave, when I could hear someone on a bicycle coming up behind me. So I moved to the side to get out of their way. He saw that I was holding scriptures and walking somewhere and asked if I was going to institute. My first impression and thought: Runaway! Because that's the first thing I think when I smell an excessive amount of aftershave that has a strong hint of Old Spice- I like the commercials, not the scent. Second thing that I thought was he probably isn't looking for the same place. He was adamant that we were going to the same place on campus. He had good features, and a Spanish accent. I asked him where he was from- Uruguay but claimed Spain as his home. (He became a little more attractive at that point) (Shallow. I know. I know.) I asked him which building he was looking for- he said he was looking for one close to a museum- I knew that the museums were on the complete opposite side of campus. We started talking- he slowed down on his bicycle and told me that he was getting his masters degree in Civil Engineering and planned on going back to Spain when he was done. (The old spice scent had magically disappeared when he said he was a grad student) (Even more shallow. Right.)All this time he kept insisting that he was headed in the right direction- ie. following me. At one point I asked him what his institute teacher looked like and he said that his teacher was a man- He was definably not going to the same place. My teacher is a girl.

Ok. We have a problem- well a couple. I usually cut through buildings to get there because it's faster. He was on a bike, and didn't seem like he was going to get off and walk. So now I know we are looking for different places and I am about to cut through a building that he can't take his bike through. So I tell him that I am going to the grey building- and he will have to go through the parking lot to get there while I cut through the building. I was unsure at this point if he wanted to come with me to my class or if he still wanted to find his own. So I gave him the directions and he took off. I should have just told him to park his bike and that we should just walk together.(I thought of that an hour later).

I cut through the building and he's come around the building much faster than I walked, and he's back on the sidewalk, headed towards me but not... I don't know. So at that moment in time I was thinking he was trying to get to his own class. He waves, and I wave back, but he doesn't follow me, so I figured he was going to his own class. I walked on and sat through institute- (which happened to be about marriage tonight)..As I thought about the encounter I had- I realized he was probably trying to wave me down so I would walk with him to my institute. MORON! Why don't I think about these things when I am situations like that..here I am talking with a guy who's nice, attractive, athletic, foreign, and I just let him wander around with no hope of knowing where to go. Wow. Can we say genius? The worst part? He was telling me about how nice it was to be here in Provo around so many nice people and especially how he loved to be around members of the church. Then I just dropped him and let him fend for himself. Real cool Risa.

So he either thought:
A. Wow. I take it back, people aren't nice here.
B. I still need directions!
C. That girl is a moron- I specifically stopped her to flirt, and she just kept walking.

The things I can glean from this:
A. Don't judge a man by his old spice.
B. I need to be a better communicator- at least so I can give better directions.
C. FLIRT BACK you Moron!
D. I've always wanted to visit Spain.
E. Some men really can pull off facial hair. Did I mention he had facial hair?
F. Bicycle man- I ever see you again, we'll go get ice cream.
G. If a man doesn't know where he's going, hop on the handle bars and show him the way.

Of all the things...

So, I think we have all had times when we've made utter fools of ourselves in attempting to catch the attention of someone we are attracted to. I unfortunately have made this mistake many times. Obviously at 27 I should probably know what to do, and yet, I still haven't a clue. I have had crushes on guys that don't know I exist, who are way out of my league, and yes the ones that are just not that into me. It takes alot for me to actually start crushing on these boys, so when I get a crush, its hard for me to let go, because they inevitably have done something or acted in a way for me to like them in the first place. Most of the time I'm just this quiet girl that does nothing but admire from afar, unfortunately there have also been times I've decided just looking on from afar doesn't work so I tried to take some action. Unfortunately that has backfired as well. So tonight I wrote this just because this is how I feel most of the time. It's not the greatest, but I am still working on it.

Of all the things I’ve said,

Of all the dreams I’ve wished come true,

Of all the tears I’ve shed,

There’s only one thing I wished you knew.

Of all the things I’ve written,

Of all the clichés, whims, and sayings so trite,

Of all the times I felt smitten,

There’s only one thing I hoped with all my might.

Of all the things I’ve done,

Of all the silly games I’ve played,

Of all the times I’d thought I’d won,

There’s only one thing for which I prayed.

Of all the times I’ve tried

Of all the times I’ve failed,

Of all the times I’ve cried,

There’s only one thing I wish I’d nailed.

Of all the times I wanted to give my heart,

Of all the times I tried to be true,

Of all the times I lacked the smarts

There’s only one thing of which I had a clue.

I only wanted to say I love you.

As in- articulate and without words expressed,

I tried to act so you’d be impressed.

I only managed to alienate and deter,

If only I could have acted in a way you would prefer.

Oh how clumsy and foolish I’ve been

Only to realize my actions and words were to your chagrin.

I’ve become “that crazy girl” in your life,

I really didn’t mean to cause you any strife.

I hope one day you’ll see

I just wanted you to get to know me.

Unfortunately I’ve portrayed myself most poorly.

If you only knew me, you’d understand surely.

You impressed me with who you are,

To find one better, I’d have to search among the stars.

You are one who is honorable and true,

I was a fool to try and pursue.

So here I am trying to apologize,

Yet there’s more to learn from this, I surmise.

One put on a pedestal inevitably falls,

Just like the boy who never calls.

I liked the idea of you,

But you never gave me the chance to see if the idea was true.

I liked the potential that was there,

Only to find out I hadn’t a prayer.

So know this, I am done.

Agony never was any fun.

Why do we put ourselves through torture?

Flames of love only become scorchers.

One thing I have learned,

Besides finding out how to get burned,

It’s something for which I’ve got a knack,

To learn to love someone who will never love you back.

So I wish for you all the happiness you could possess.

As I seek for other lives to bless.

Please just don’t forget ,

There is still one who has loved and loves you yet.

Of all the things I could have told you

Of all the things I wished you knew,

Of all the things I’ve wished from above,

The only thing I really wanted to give you was love.

Purify My Heart

I wrote this poem back when I was living in Jerusalem. I was watching the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. These words just seemed to flow out of me as I pondered on the messages given. Especially the message given by Elder Wirthlin entitled "The Greatest Commandment". The comment that stood out the most to me was "the measure of our love is the greatest measure of our souls". Again, the technical literary rhythm in this poem is not the greatest, but I hope you can get the feelings I was experiencing at that moment and have experienced since then. The desire to be better, I believe, is within all of us. It is an almost constant nagging feeling I have all the time. I believe that access to becoming better is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. At least, that is the best way to go at it. Oftentimes I feel like Nephi, when he speaks of being easily beset by his sins, and his weaknesses, but my favorite word in the Psalm of Nephi is nevertheless. It is a word that leads to infinite hope. Which hope embodies the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Purify My Heart
Purify my heart- this is my prayer.
Make it holy that to heaven I may come there.
A broken heart is a simple yet sincere token.
Help me to do as Thou hast spoken.
Contrite in spirit,
This is the only way I can be healed of it.
Consume this ache and make me whole.
Help me, that to Thee may come my soul.
Charity must come
That Thy will may be done.
Sanctify me through Thy grace
That I may one day see Thy face.
Bring me closer to Thee
So in Thine arms I may be.
Purify my heart, heal my wounded soul.
Calm my cares around me, hear my plea o Lord.
I am determined to progress
and help others of Thee confess.
My life has changed,
Oh help me to those blessings obtain.
Thy understanding is eternal and complete.
Thy mercy is meet.
Thy love is unspoken yet fully felt.
Do not depart oh Lord, and tarry to be my help.
Thanks be to thee for all thy love.
Purify my heart that I may dwell with Thee above.