Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Distractions

So. It's been awhile. I've been distracted. Typically people use a new year to jot down goals that have vanished from their memories within days. I didn't do that this year. I didn't make any resolutions on Jan 1. I've forgotten for way too long. I've been distracted for way too long.  So it's time to refocus and re-discover what soothes my soul, my very core. It's time to get back to creating.  It's time to remember what it's like to feel the words I'm writing, or imagine the worlds I'm painting, and recognize the parts of me that I've been neglecting.  Sometimes distractions are good, necessary, and even fun. Others can be described as painful, wasteful and lazy.  I've had a mixture of both in these last few years that I've been distracted from any form of writing. But for the most part, these distractions aren't distractions, they are just a part of me now. They are so very important that these "distractions" are  just opportunities that I need to balance better.It means that to achieve my goals as a writer, or blogger or creator, I need to be less distracted by my "life" and just be focused on things that matter and give my time to those things that matter, including these distractions. The only difference will be is that I recognize the need for creativity in my life. It is important that this distraction receives some quality time from me as well.

 So to fill you in on what's been going on in the last few years, here's a quick overview.

I've been working. A lot.  I've been working hard, but it hasn't been something that I love.  I have progressed from a simple File Clerk to the Interface Analyst at Central Utah Clinic.  People have been good to me there. They have noticed the hard work I've put in for four years. They've promoted me and I've more than doubled my starting salary.(Which wasn't very hard to do, noting how low I started)... While I've worked and worked I've realized I don't love what I do. It has been a great learning experience for me, and I've learned that learning has not stopped now that I'm in the workforce full time, but that learning now is just different. Learning takes work. Nobody is going to lecture me anymore. No one is going to give me a grade, but I am the one determining how well I do on a daily basis. I've realized that sometimes my best is not enough.  Other times, my best is better than what any one has ever expected of me.

I've spent time with friends and family. This is the best distraction in life, hands down.  It's made the past four years more meaningful.  People in this world are what brings me joy in this life.  We've been down to Southern Utah, hiked Zion's and snowboarded in the mountains. We've traveled to Costa Rica, Texas, Dublin. We've taken multiple trips into NY, been camping, had many barbecue's and plenty of nights in  playing Werewolves and playing hand and foot. We've had countless meals and memories, and this is a distraction that I will never give up.  I love it too much.  The relationships we have in life are what makes us have meaning. They are my support, my strength and my motivation. I would be nothing without the people and the experiences I've had with each of them.

I've been serving. I've learned many things in these callings, and I would never consider these distractions. But they have kept me from creating in the traditional ways of writing, but I have had to use multiple creative outlets in each of these. In the past 4 years I've served in multiple callings. I've been a teacher multiple times in everything from Relief Society to Marraige and Family Relationships, an FHE mom, a counselor, a RS President, a service committee member.  These have helped me become who I am today and will continue to help me for the rest of my life.  These callings will always help me stay focused on what matters most.  To me The Gospel of Jesus Christ is and will always be the main focus of my life.  From this I never want to become distracted.